stay away from the magazines!

It's rough coming home from vacation. The real world smacks you around and all those mundane tasks rear their ugly heads-the laundry, meals, dumb other things you gotta do like get a car to pass the WHOLE ugly California thing for the want of one light....ooops...trying to be better, not bitter...

When the realization hit today that we were OUT of a few things, I took on my Procurement role and headed to the local Target for retail purchase and walking/shopping therapy. That last option is why I'm writing today. As I continue to ponder why I just keep on struggling to start being more healthy and eat the same stuff over and over (I keep telling myself that I really don't want to change how I eat, and I really don't today) i found myself wandering past the magazines. I have no idea why I did this, really. Something inside me said "Look for SOMETHING to inspire me to work on the health issues"... so....I looked.... scanned...hunted.........

Airbrushed women, beautifully placed food, careful settings greeted my eyes. So many magazines touted information on "healthy tips", "make your mate fulfilled", "drop that size", etc. that I should have seemingly found what I was looking for. But just as 20 years later U2 hasn't found it, I haven't either.
I am fed up and frustrated with this whole thing.
I know it takes time.
I know it takes motivation.
I have neither.
And something in me at that moment cried inside.

Perhaps you've been there. Perhaps you can say "Done that. Bought the t-shirt."

Short of miracles, I don't know what else to do. Even here. I know what to do.

but

I"m overwhelmed right now.




...thanks for listening....